My 2013 Public Face

The more things change, the more things stay the same.  It's a nostalgic night in a new town that doesn't feel new to me at all anymore; hasn't felt new for months.  We value our memories but they are at their most vivid on paper.  Sometimes they are so powerful we don't want to taint or forgive them with our words.  

Many of my free hours are spent: applying for better jobs; exploring and adventuring; reading; laughing at the randomness constantly happening all around me; writing; struggling to not completely despise everything I write; struggling to make sense of my place in the world; struggling to understand motivations, people, politics, society, and deceptively basic concepts like empathy and love; drinking bottom-shelf whiskeys and cheap beers; listening to the depressing sorts of music that make me so happy; and shining lights on the dark regions of my mind.

Three years ago, I took it to heart when a co-worker supported me during a conversation, when she told me: "You are young enough to fail."  At 25, it still applies.  I've taken risks.  Many have been fruitful.  Most have been utter failures.  All of them have paid off in one way or another.  I don't know if, at the core, I'm still the same James Jackson I was the day I drove out of Ohio, but I like to think that I am.  But it's not like we're the same.

Here we carry on at the crossroads of a new, familiar dawn.

"You're Young Enough to Fail."

So. 2011, here we are. 2011. You sound so futuristic.

Anyway. The reason I'm back here is that I just found a new website called MemoLane, and it made me think of my blogs. Google it. It captures memories from various sites that you have. It is just in beta stage right now, but check it out; once it launches, I have a feeling it will be quite big.

My resolution this year: more adventures. And I'm serious about it. Partially out of necessity, partially out of just... wanting to live life more and piss in the wind, if you will. It comes necessarily due to what will happen when I graduate, when I relocate. It's hard to predict what will come from that. I'm excited and scared at the same time, but I think of a quote that a somewhat random former co-worker pointed out to me: "You're young enough to fail." I think those are the five words that need to be carried with me at all times; not in the forefront of my brain, but somewhere in the back. And when I think about, the quote does have truth, and it is applicable to me. I'm only 22. It's okay to be poor. It's okay to still follow my dreams, even when they're ridiculous It's even okay to do crazy shit. And you know, if I'm out in California for five years and I'm destitute and completely broken, ya know what? I can go back home. I have that safety net. Obviously, that's not something I want to strive for. It's just important to be reminded of the options. What's at stake.

The second part of my resolution. Well, come on. Who doesn't want adventure? The last half of my 2010 was filled to the brim with really awesome and memorable adventures. Philadelphia, the "MarkC" battles, one involving pumpkins, working at Cedar Point. The list goes on, at least for a bit longer. You get the point. The best memories are oftentimes the ones you create. I'm all about creating, and I am better socially in situations involving some kind of weirdness.

Until next time. Hopefully I'll still be in college by the next entry -- I want to write before May.